Imagination Revelation #1: What do you mean you can't open a Piñata with that?
Of course you can! I've done it a million times before. Just hold it by its stiff feet and give it a good swing. Oh don't worry about blood, I'm sure it congealed into a gelatin-like substance a long time ago.
Why are you crying? We have a clown, for god's sake! You are the most ungrateful child I've ever met