Thursday, July 9, 2009

The ESRB probably has a worse imagination than you do

Just the other day I was talking about the rating this game will get from the ESRB (E10, in case you didn't know) vs. the actual rating it should get based on the events happening. I briefly mentioned that while the violence and the like were kept at a minimum, your imagination could take the situation and really run wild with it. And run wild it did for the ESRB. Take a look at their rating summary to find out...

This is a puzzle game in which players navigate a series of traps, puzzles, and enemies to collect stars scattered throughout the colorful levels. Players have the ability to summon different objects by writing/typing in the word (e.g., bike, spaceship, lion) and watching it come to life. If multiple words are entered in a sequence, different whimsical scenarios can be triggered: a bicycle can be used to jump over a baby; a bulldozer can clear away a shark; and cabbage can be fed to dinosaurs. Players can elect to summon "cartoony" versions of bats, bombs, guns, and flamethrowers. These types of items can be used to destroy objects or even other summoned items (e.g., a club can be used to hit an animal; steak can be attached to a baby to attract lions; rockets can be lobbed at a man). These triggered animations are minimally depicted and are usually accompanied by popping, musical sound effects; bright, star-shaped flashes; or small puffs of smoke. If players wish to, they may type in the word vomit, which causes a beige-colored lump to appear on the screen.

Wait, what?

Out of all the examples to use...these were definitely the most bizarre. They could have kept it simple and said you can "kill" babies. But no. Instead they decided to tell us the wonders of jumping over babies on a bike while gluing steak to their cute little heads so they'll be eaten by lions.


Well...on the brightside, I know the first combination of words I plan on trying out. Uh...thanks, ESRB?

1 comment:

  1. I laughed my ass off reading this. I didn't even consider tying meat to anything in order to attract lions, but that's a pretty good idea. 8D
    The mentioning of vomit takes the cake for me though. <(>_o)^